Getting Started
We usually start off with a quick check in and then dive into whatever is pressing to you or pick up where we left off in working towards your goals. The first few sessions will be focused on getting to know you and what you’re dealing with, though I may offer some tools or knowledge that could be helpful to know right away.
It’s ok if you don’t know what you want out of therapy.
Part of this work is to help you figure that out. As we work together to a picture of what’s going on in your life, it generally becomes easier to see what you’d like to get out of therapy. There’s usually something under the surface that comes up when we look into things together.
It’s completely valid to just want someone to hold space for us without an ulterior motive. Someone that’s got our back. I’m here to listen and try my best to understand what you’re going through without you needing to change. Space to exist, as you are, can be powerful stuff.
I can also help you figure out a plan if you want things to be different. These are goals you choose, not something I say you need to do. I bring the tools, you set the destination.
There is absolutely no requirement to talk about your feelings.
Usually talking about our feelings about things is the default way of therapy, and it can be a useful strategy, but that’s just one way of doing things. While our past experiences affect how we see the present and our possibilities for the future, we can keep our focus on what’s happening right now and what you want to do about it. I’d love to learn about your view on life, what’s important to you, and helping you make plans of action towards who you want to be.
No homework but lots of resources.
As someone with ADHD I understand how bad it feels when I struggle to do something, or just plain forget. Often in therapy there is the concept of ‘homework’, we try something in session and then it’s your job to practice it outside of it. It’s just one way to do things and it’s not a requirement.
I do however, love sharing resources. Knowledge is power, and I’m happy to share books, articles and other resources about neuroscience and the other nerdy things I’m basing my therapy style. There’s a lot of different approaches to therapy, I have a few I lean towards and I’m happy to help you find other therapists that lean towards other ones that might be more your style.
I won’t pull a fast one on you.
Consent is incredibly important to me as a personal value. I will explain a possible idea to try, why I think it could be helpful, and what it looks like before we do it. You can decide if you want to try it out and we’ll check in to see if it’s something you want to do more of.
I’m not going to try and mold you into my own version of what ‘healthy’ or ‘normal’ looks like. Normal is made up and you don’t have to subscribe to it. We focus on what you want to be doing, not a text book treatment plan. This is especially important for plural systems. You don’t have to fuse, and you don’t have to ‘get better’. Same with ‘addiction’, if there’s something you’re doing that helps you deal with life and you don’t want to change it, you don’t have to. You still deserve support, on your terms, towards your goals. Even if that goal is to just have someone safe enough to talk to.
Our time together belongs to you.
We will check in to ensure we’re spending time in the way you want. Every 3 sessions we can book a free 20 minute chat to talk about how we’re finding our work together. This is purely a working style check in and not one of our usual therapy sessions. This lets us look at what’s working, what could be better, and what we want to try differently. Over time we’ll build a well oiled machine custom tailored to you.